Whats your favorite joke?

jessejames · Post by **jessejames** » Fri May 16, 2008 3:31 am

BEST JOKE ALERT

This joke is best used in a public setting with lots of people (friends) around. Drunk is preferred. Pick someone in your group that can take a joke (we'll call him Fred) and lay this on everyone...

What are the four types of female orgasms?

1. The positive orgasm (yell "oh yes oh yes!")

2. The religious orgasm (yell "oh God oh God!")

3. The profane orgasm (yell "oh fck oh fck!")

4. AND the fake orgasm...

"OH FRED OH FRED!"

Hegel · Post by **Hegel** » Sat May 17, 2008 12:51 am

what's the difference between a sandwich and a baby ?

i don't have sex with a sandwich before i eat it

s.k. · Post by **s.k.** » Sat May 17, 2008 12:47 pm

a berlinner told me this one, dunno if others know it too

two construction workers are working on the wall of a very tall building in berlin. on of em says:

"jens, im gonna take a piss but since we are very high on this wall, you have to hold me for security's sake."

he takes his workclothes off, starts pissing (jens holding him), but all of a sudden jens starts coughing hard and loses grip on the pissing guy, so he falls down 15 storeys or so...

two years later, three chicks are sitting in the cafe on the street next to the already finished building. two of them have just got back from abroad - one from italy, the other from the arab emirates. both of them are telling stories about how persistent the men in those countries are:

chick #1: oh in italy, its crazy

, they were sending me flowers all the time, taking me out to romantic dinners and all that, its very hard to resist italian men....

chick #2: thats nothing

, in the arab emirates where i just got back from, its really really crazy - men were following me all around, they gave me the most expensive presents and promised me unbelievable treasures... *sigh*

chick #3 (who been staying in germany): oh what do you know.. two years ago i was sitting on that same cafe just chilling, i look to the sky and next thing i see - a bare naked man, his dck in his hand, he is FLYING towards me and screaming "FUUUCCCCKKKKK YOOOOUUUUU..."

Yoshindo-San · Post by **Yoshindo-San** » Mon May 19, 2008 9:51 am

muahahaaaa!!!

Yoshindo-San · Post by **Yoshindo-San** » Mon May 19, 2008 9:55 am

A baby was born who was so advanced he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked.

"Yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth."

He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?"

"Yes, I am," said the mother. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"

"Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. "Hurts don't it!"

Post by **John Clees** » Mon May 19, 2008 9:57 am

Yoshindo-San wrote:muahahaaaa!!!

K0$+3k wrote: Little girl ride on a bike.Suddenly she's fall down.
why she don't cry??

Becouse she has pierced lung

I enjoyed that one as well..

Loppan · Post by **Loppan** » Mon May 19, 2008 10:10 am

Mummy tomato and baby tomato were about to cross the road..
mummy tomato starts walking across when a car comes speeding along..
mummy tomato makes it to the other side but the little one gets squashed under the car..
Mummy tomato says: "Come on ketchup..Lets go!"

minimal house · Post by **minimal house** » Mon May 19, 2008 11:42 am

why do they call it pms?

mad cow disease was already taken!