just had a quick listen to it, i would say, and this possibly alot to do with personal taste obviously to
a)bring down the kick or eq it a little more to sit better at the start
b)more bass, i know it doesnt come in till late, but a little something would give it more movement
c)the sort of detuned noise is good, but bring it down a bit in the mix cause for me it kinda took away from the rythym
d)structure is good.
e)maybe spend more time on refining the sounds, you could get more out of them
f)maybe vary the hats a little to keep it interesting
but yeah overall an impressive first attempt and i hope that my criticisms were helpful to you. good work.