"I'm a serious techno producer"

[Digital Fist]

Best one was some inebriated redhead who came up to me at the student union gig I used to run, while I was playing the 2nd tune of the entire evening, just after 7pm,
got right up in my face and said, "Right! Now you listen to me... if you don't play something I can dance to... I'm going to leave."

I pointed out that a] she'd only paid £1 to get in, b] had presumably seen the flyer and knew we were going to be playing house, breakbeat, techno, dnb and old skool garage,
and c] I happened to be playing a blinding opening tune as we spoke, so could she kindly fck off, please?

My mate obliged and got rid of her for me, because she was doing my tit in, but she somehow turned up about 10 minutes later, behind the decks, rooting through my record
collection, and pulled out a copy of Deee-Lite - "Groove is in the Heart", waving it at me saying, "There! I can dance to that."

fck off. Basically.

[Shepherd_of_Anu]

Forgot about that vid... My favourite part...

Hiphop Chick: I heard a track by this guy Benny Benassi once. It goes dum dum dum, dum dum dum! Do you have that one?
DJ Guy: I love Benny Benassi.
Hiphop Chick: Really?
DJ Guy: No.
Hiphop Chick: I don't understand how you can call yourself a dance DJ and not have any of those songs!
DJ Guy: Bitch, I told you before... I am a serious techno producer.

[Shepherd_of_Anu]

That last line should become classic

[kgw]

I once had some girl come up to me when I was playing in a packed out warehouse in Cambridge UK and said ' I go to Bodyworks' (A local dance school) 'And we do a musicology module, so I know way more about music than you do. Can you play some hip hop?'

I replied 'I have had a grade 8 on violin since I was 14, and a grade 8 on tuned percussion since 16, but yes, sure, I'll play some hip hop because I am sure you musicology module counts for way more'

Then I had the doorman throw her out. Not because of what she said but because she was ugly.

HAHA! 5 stars for that last line.